stop.the.madness.

Here's the thing...Most deficits are of a mental nature. They arise in the mind, and it is there that they must be laid to rest. If you are, at this moment, not threatened with bodily harm in any way, then your perceived suffering is mental.

 Let me elaborate...

{Symptoms}

Restlessness. Wandering aimlessly around the house. Mental chatter you can’t quiet down. Compulsive eating/shopping/drinking/anything. Constant worry. Spacing out. Unable to be where you are: in the moment. Fear. Daydreaming or mentally checking out in any way. Feeling like you just CANNOT stand yourself or some aspect of your life anymore.

{Antidote}

Nothing is missing in this moment.

{The Medicine}

Now think back to what I said: "Most deficits are of a mental nature. They arise in the mind, and it is there that they must be laid to rest. If you are, at this moment, not threatened with bodily harm in any way, then your perceived suffering is mental."

I am not saying it does not feel real- visceral even. It does. I feel it too.

I am simply pointing out that a deficit that starts in the mind cannot be addressed in the material world. It must be addressed in the mind. Just like a physical thirst cannot be quenched by thinking about drinking water.  A mental {spiritual} thirst cannot be quenched by material means. Your ego {mind} would have you believe that it can. That is how it survives and feeds and grows: by whispering in your ear about all the material treasures you could have and should have to survive. Esteem, beauty, excess. Flat stomach, perk bum, Black AMEX-Then you will be OK.

But the thirst continues…

or

the mental chatter

or

the feeling like you want to crawl out of your skin with discontent

or

worry

or

restlessness

or

feeling like it is {you are} never enough

{Take a moment’s pause. Follow these steps.}

1     Calm the fuck down.

Do this dance for a few minutes: Take one deep breath, and hold it at the top of the inhale. Feel that moment of peace where your mind goes quiet. Exhale. Feel another moment of peace at the bottom of the exhale, when your lungs are completely empty.  Repeat.

Do that a few times, chasing that blissful second of just feeling OK. Allowing peace in for just one second at a time will make enough space that you will be able to follow step two.

2    Listen.

Your body holds all the information you will EVER need to thrive. It is how you were made. Before humans had language, Instagram, or gold iPads, we thrived. Before we had a Neocortex {responsible for things like language and abstract thinking about the past and the future} we still had the knowledge to overcome extreme survival threats. The body, through its various sensory receptors, takes in 11 million bits of information per second. You only have conscious access to about 50 bits per second. The rest is in your subconscious and presents itself as {gut feelings} and the like. Your discomfort is trying to give you a message. It is trying to tell you what you need to thrive.

Some ways to {listen} are:

Meditate.

{If you are of that inclination} I myself would rather carve my eyes out with a rusty spoon.

Journal. 

Free write. Whatever comes to mind. Write on anything you can find about anything that spills out. Go sit in the bathroom at work and do it on your phone. This technique is magic. It never fails to calm me down. And I receive amazing messages about what I need to do to move forward and feel better.

Talk to a friend. 

If you are blessed with someone in your life that has the ability to {translate} your ranting into golden nuggets, then you are very lucky. Sometimes sound-boarding with someone who is empathetic and honest can be a lifesaver for decoding your own neurosis. {A word of caution} This is a precious resource, and I suggest you use it sparingly. Don’t tire out your friend{s} by always depending on them for guidance and advice. No one likes that person. Save this for the really bothersome topics that the other techniques don’t work on.

 Trust.

Trust the message that comes through. Maybe your message is that you need a nap. Don’t worry if you don’t see how this is going to solve the problem of what colors to pick for your wedding, or how you hate your mother-in-law. Just listen to the message and go take a fucking {nap/bath/spa week} even if you just came {up/out/back} from one. Trust the process. If your message is that you feel used and abused {to stand up for yourself/ set better boundaries} do so. Even in a very small non-threatening way. If you have problems sanding up to your boss, then start by asking the Barista to remake your disastrous latte. Trust the process. If your jealousy reveals that you actually {wish} you could get by on looks and cleavage, then get out of your sweatpants and into something cute. Yes, even if it is just to do your janitorial service job. Trust the process.

Life is a funny thing. Small actions catalyze huge change when accumulated over a short time. Sometimes I feel like I live 98% of my life on autopilot and those are the times that heavily coincide with things looking the same every morning. It’s the {looking} that needs to change before the {things} can change. Start small and trust that change will come if you keep committing to the best life you can manage in the moment.