sail.away.with.me.honey.

A part of me wants to go where the wind takes me; roll with the tide; set sail for new adventures, all that jazz. And another part of me wants to drop my anchor; build a village; hunker down. These two things require very different strategies. If life is an ocean (and I am very convinced that it is) then what kind of vessel am I? Certain vessels are built more for speed and agility, while others are built to slowly roam the seas, holding safe their stowaways through rough waters and new terrains.

I know some people that have always been large, strong vessels. I gravitate towards these people. They feel safe. They amble along slowly, letting neither rough seas nor long stretches of still water faze them. The urge step aboard and experience their warmth and safety is almost irresistible. But alas, these are always the people I leave behind. Soon, when my belly is filled and my clothes are dry, I am back gazing out at the horizon again, wondering what is next. What does that make me? I am not quite a pirate, but not quite a big safe ship either.

I used to be a kayak, running fast and furious through rough rapids. Or perhaps even a surfer waiting for the next wave. In between times of excitement and turmoil, when the waters were calm, I was simply lost and alone. My little vessel, which thrived in the rapids of change, was simply inhabitable in the long stretches of calm water. And unfortunately, with a vessel so small, it was impossible to invite anyone else on board.

I have a bigger vessel now. I have invited people on board, and found a way care for myself and sometimes others, as needed. My pace is slower and less frantic, but always moving nonetheless. Although I have a map, and I understand latitude and longitude, I prefer navigating by the stars, with my attention always aimed at the sky instead of down at the measurements. I simply trust the wisdom of the stars more than I will ever trust an experience somebody else has put on paper. Most importantly, I still look at the horizon. And if the winds of change call, I will answer, even if I have to travel alone…